Indefinite story 401

Here I am, getting used to my 20s life right now.
Waking up when the sun is just up , getting back home when it just turned dark.
Home to shower , having my dinner with my family while watching the 2 hours tvb drama.
A Monday to Friday lifestyle.
Saturdays and Sundays now are slowly free-ing up though.
I'm not confident for this dance concert , not at all. I probably just want to withdraw myself from responsibilities.
Cut that damn ego down , and just be like any other average person in the world.
Wait till September where my life is going to be fixed and mundane for 2 years.

I really hated growing up.
Future planning sucks
I dont know to be happy or upset about life though. Its not my desired, but I know I had to work it out.
I always deemed myself to be useful, not till recently that I realised I wasn't.
I wasn't strong as a individual, I don't see where my strong points are anymore.
I used to thought that I was capable of dealing with stress . Probably I was but not to unnecessary ones.
I have been trying so hard to get myself a stand in the society, proving that I was a strong woman with abilities.
I planned the aims and goals in life , dreaming my future prospects but am I really able to achieve it?
I wasn't being negative , I am just sure that my procrastination will never bring me anywhere.

I know Im a lucky girl , showered with love by many especially my family.
But growing up like that will never allow me to grow maturely, I was too dependent on them for sure.
I don't know when will I be able to get my life moving to what I want it to be.
I believe it will , just a little more hard work , more research , less rest , less social networking , less loving of anyone else , less me-time.
2 years time , I will be better me.